The photo above is of Wightman Chapel in Nashville, on the campus of the Scarritt Bennett Center. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke here in 1957. Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I am at a training at Scarritt Bennett where the participants are of many faiths and many ethnicities.
A quote from Dr. King has been on my mind lately:
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” ― Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from the Birmingham Jail
I have a colleague that likes to say, "Laws don't change people's hearts. They can prevent lynchings, but they don't change hearts."
One of the biggest misunderstandings about Martin Luther King Jr. Day is that the holiday celebrates the end of segregation and discrimination. That is not it at all. Segregation and discrimination still exist. Violence, physical and otherwise, still exists. Injustice exists in zoning laws, congressional redistricting, church giving priorities, our tax system, and my own personal budget. Justice and the work of God will not be complete until people's hearts are changed.
A way this is personal to me:
My family kept foster children for 20 years. We had over 100 children come through our home. I love babies and I am good with them. I loved having babies in our home. However, one aspect of that experience that always struck me is that the African-American babies always stayed in our home longer than babies of other ethnicities.
It is not inaccurate to say that many potential forever parents were probably racist. They didn't want to adopt a baby that didn't look like them because they thought something was wrong with those babies.
However, many of the potential future parents didn't want to adopt because they knew that they didn't have the personal strength or community support to adopt and raise a child of a different ethnicity. The adoption process forces people to think about what they are doing. One of the early parts of the process, finding a child, is easier if you are open to adopting an African-American child because there are more of them in the system.
There are issues all parents will face when raising kids. However, most of the time they can't predict those issues. Parents who have kids through adoption can foresee some of those issues. In the cases where parents of one ethnicity adopt children of another ethnicity, they can foresee, to an extent, the issues of race in their lives.
This forces parents to ask whether or not they think they can handle those issues. Very often the answer is no. Why do people say no?
The issue of race is huge for everyone. It is also distant for many white people. So when white people are faced with race in their decision to adopt, they often decide to take the easy route. It is not necessarily that they wouldn't love the African-American child as much as the white one. It is more that they don't feel the strength or support to take on that love.
That is a damning indictment of our communities. People don't feel like their communities are strong enough or kind enough to support them in accepting the challenge to raise a multi-racial* family. They also don't feel like there are alternative communities that can provide that support, or that those communities are just as weak as their own.
This is an injustice. This is a sin. We need to build communities where people can feel the support they need to raise multi-racial families. When a white family adopts an African-American child, they need to have the acceptance and support of their own community, as well as the support of an African-American community to provide opportunities for the child to explore their heritage.
I challenge everyone, especially people who look like me, to spend today thinking about how their own lives and communities help continue this injustice. Have you been prejudiced towards individuals because of the color of their skin, the language they speak, or the way they dress? Have you told potential parents who are thinking of raising a multi-racial family that it will be too hard?
I know I have. I need to do more of the hard work in my communities to make them more supportive of adoption and multi-racial families. I am getting better. I am working towards perfect justice on this because when Dr. King say "Injustice anywhere", that includes in our hearts and minds.
* I say "multi-racial" because I think it is wrong to raise, for example, an African-American child as white when the parents are white. Don't deprive people of their heritage. Don't make the arrogant assumption that their lives will be easier if they are white people who happen to have dark skin. Don't be ignorant about what is problematic with your own ethnicity.
** Don't get me started on the people who think families formed through adoption aren't as real or valid as families formed through traditional pregnancy.
*** There isn't enough space here to talk about why there are more African-American babies in foster care than other ethnicities. Some people may try to steer the conversation in that direction. However, I would say that the reasons behind something shouldn't have a big impact on the actions you take in response to something. Don't try to use the reasons behind something as an excuse to avoid how you can be better in the situation.